The kid announced tonight just before dinner that his library report is due tomorrow.

“By the way,” he said.

I’m becoming allergic to, “by the way”.

This was a project that has been assigned for several weeks. I don’t remember having seen anything about it from the teacher saying what, exactly, was (and tomorrow morning, is) expected. That doesn’t mean for certain that something didn’t come home about it a few weeks ago buried in the mountain of worksheets and other papers; only that I don’t remember seeing it.

He had told us that there was a “library project” coming up.

“When?” I asked.

He didn’t know.

“Ok. Please find out,” I said. And then I forgot about it. Until tonight, when just before dinner I found out.

He had taken a book out of the library a few weeks ago about ancient Egypt. I’m pretty sure the report is supposed to be something to do with Egypt. We’d talked about mummifying a hot dog when the time came. But it takes six weeks to mummify a hot dog. So that’s not happening.

He says he’ll draw a timeline diagram of the history of cars. If only he knew anything about the history of cars, I’d say it was a fine idea.

As it stands, I think he may repeat 5th grade.