I have a criminal record now.

Last June I bought a new car.

This year I completely forgot that even new cars need an annual inspection. Then, on July 10 on the way home from grocery shopping, the state police had a road block set up along Route 86. Because they don’t have anything better to do than harass people during tourist season. It’s not like there’s any real crime going on anywhere in the State of New York.

The inspection was 10 days overdue. So officer BM McCormick (no joke, his name on the ticket is BM — as in “Bowel Movement”) gave me a ticket. Maybe he’s got an attitude because his parents gave him a bad name. I don’t know. I’m not a psychologist, and I don’t even play one on TV.

In 30 years of driving, it was my first ticket. It said that I could mail it back with a plea of guilty or not guilty. Or I could show up in court. By way of an honest mistake I found myself on the wrong side of the law.

Yesterday was my court date.

I had a conference with the Assistant District Attorney. When I explained the situation, she agreed to dismiss the case. For which I was grateful.

So the case was dismissed “in the interest of justice,” as the judge put it. He added, and I should add here, that “we don’t usually dismiss these, because it would give people an incentive to never do the inspections.” I suspect it was also his way of saying that he wouldn’t dismiss it if I showed up in his courtroom again next year.

Maybe I don’t exactly have a criminal record.